Sen. Ted Cruz

Junior Senator from Cancun & Perpetual Debate Club Instigator

🔥 Pride🔥 Wrath🔥 Sloth

“Wanting to be a good dad, I flew down with them last night and am flying back this afternoon.”

👑Lucifer's Official Endorsement Speech

Abandoning your shivering constituents during a catastrophic winter power grid failure to sip margaritas at a luxury resort in Cancun, and then blaming your 10-year-old daughters when caught at the boarding gate? Truly diabolical. Even his own Republican Senate colleagues famously describe him with sulfurous contempt, making him an irreplaceable source of internal friction.

Infernal Pitchfork Rating: 🔱🔱🔱🔱

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