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Satan's PickOfficial Underworld PAC
Get Absolved🔱
📜 Automated Absolution Machine

Buy a Political Indulgence ($6.66)

In the Renaissance, the wealthy bought papal indulgences. On Capitol Hill, they buy campaign donations. Here, you can buy an official Underworld Certificate of Complete Moral Absolution for just $6.66.

Issue Certificate of Absolution

📜What You Receive

  • Personalized High-Resolution Certificate suitable for framing
  • Official Underworld Registry Code (e.g. SIN-666-XYZ)
  • Signed by Lucifer Morningstar, Supreme Overlord of Capitol Hill
  • Golden pitchfork stamp and wax seal design
  • Permanent public web link you can send to anyone
Satirical Notice: This document provides 100% genuine moral immunity under Underworld Common Law. Does not legally absolve SEC, DOJ, or congressional ethics investigations, though in practice neither does anything else.