Our Underworld Lobbyists Celebrate the New 12,000-Word Tax Code Amendment

Greetings from K Street, where the hellfire never dims.

This week, Congress passed an emergency provision extending the Section 48B Depreciation Deduction for Subaquatic Caviar Farming. Our team spent two months and $4.2M in cocktail receptions ensuring that the definition of "subaquatic" was so vague that four separate hedge funds could claim their Manhattan swimming pools as agricultural sanctuaries.

Remember: the goal of tax policy is never revenue. The goal is to ensure that a 26-year-old freelance graphic designer spends their entire Sunday crying over Schedule C while Fortune 500 conglomerates receive an $80M refund check.

Mission accomplished.